Two friends are seated at a kitchen table surfing eharmony, a website of dating hope that one friend has recently joined.
The joiner says: "Let's look at my matches. If nothing comes of it, at least I will have 90 days worth of laughs."
Non-joiner says: "What was the age range you put in? My God, if that guy is 45, I'm 70!"
Joiner says, "Look at this one, he lists his job as "pharmaceuticals," he's a drug dealer, next!"
Non-joiner says: "Well, here ...this guy seems normal, he is an architect."
Joiner says: "Are you kidding...he's making out with his dogs in every picture. I hate dogs. Okay, I did say I like pets on the site but this animal lover, no way!"
Non-joiner says: "Okay, this guy then, he is a lawyer...no wait he has tattoos all over his arm...he probably got his law degree while in prison. Next."
Joiner says: "All right, let me show you the 2 guys I have decided to break the ice with...look at these two.
Non-joiner says: "Oh my God, no way...no way...no way get rid of them...they are ex-husbands of friends of mine...only in their dreams are they what they say they are. Lucky I'm here to screen these guys for you."
At that moment, the computer screen beamed, "Windows is Shutting Down."
End of Scene One
You may think that you saw this scene on tv, you may have. I am sure it has happened an unimaginable amount of times. The other night it played out in my kitchen with my best friend, "the joiner."
So often you hear people searching for their "soul mate." Who coined that phrase? It has become a cliche. My friends need to stop searching for one, as a nice friendly chap will do as a start.
I need to have my joiner friend come back over and watch my favorite tear jerker flick: Cinema Paradiso.
Young Salvatore falls in love, has his heart broken, and never really loves again. His eyes are opened at the film's end. The film's ending is the best I have ever seen.
Call me a naive romantic, but I love the way love is portrayed in the movies. Love is wondrous and love is torture.
My true love is Robert Redford. Of course it is. He is intelligent. He is a cowboy. He is a thespian. He is a philanthropist. He was and always will be Hubble Gardner. And, well, my name is Katie.
I think I have watched, "The Way We Were," at least 30 times. Katie Morosky is an odd choice for Hubble which is why us ladies love it! Katie M did start annoying me after my 20th viewing however, I keep forgiving her because of dialog such as this when she pleads with Hubble to stay:
HG: "You never give up, do you?
Katie: "Only when I'm absolutely forced to. But I'm a very good loser."
HG: "Better than I am."
Katie: "Well I've had more practice."
I bet most women have dated a Hubble Gardner. I was in love with one for three years until his candy coating wore off, exposing his true Charlie Sheeness. I fled.
Us women love to talk about love. What could be better fodder? Over the years I can recall some pretty sage advice that I have given myself and others. I continue to develop this love laundry list:
1. Know your value.
2. Desire a loaf of bread and not crumbs.
3. Don't rescue or look to be rescued.
4. Let yourself be adored.
5. The movies are not always right.
Regarding the Fifth principle, a scene from my favorite Mother/Daughter drama: The Joy Luck Club, proves my point. After Suyvan's dinner party at which her cooked crab was featured, Suyvan says to her Chinese daughter,
"That bad crab, only you tried to take it. Everybody else want best quality. You, your thinking different. Waverly took best quality crab. You took worst, because you have the best quality heart. You have style, no one can teach."
Listen here, my eharmony joiner friend(s). You have the best quality heart. You have style no one can teach. Take the good crab. You deserve quality.
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